Yes, I know it's about 3 a.m. my time...

...but I'm feeling pretty good.  I slept for hours, curled up against my husband, resting my head on his chest. He was using his pillow (Sleepsonic, if you haven't been paying attention, check the only banners I've got here) with a white-noise/pink-noise (I can't really tell the difference, but HE can) track playing over and over, and that combined with his steady heartbeat was exceptionally calming.  What am I, a puppy?  A fetus?

It doesn't matter; I SLEPT.  I still need more, and I'm going to go back there (if I can do it without waking him up) soon, but I wanted to share this wonderful moment with you.  This is the first time in days I've rested without nightmares, not awakened in a cold sweat, just...peaceful.  I know at least ONE of my regular readers knows what a maniac I am, and peaceful is not my normal state of being, but wow, I like it.

Please get here, my pillow.  I really need a lot more of this.  I honestly can't remember the last time I woke up at (I know, still not really an acceptable time of day) 3 a.m. and felt okay about everything.  All my problems and work I have ahead of me seems not only doable,  they sound positively simple.  I know when I finally put down this little electronic time thief and try to sleep again, I will.  I know I'll accomplish whatever I set out to do to(day)morrow.

Optimism.  From me.  Enjoy it while you see it, folks.  I know I do.

Since I DID mention the pillow, and I still owe some people who've written me privately some answers, here they are:  

1. it is super-easy to use.  You can plug it into a computer, CD player, MP3 player--anything with a mini-jack.  It's got an extender cord that makes it EASY.  

2.  My husband, at least (check the Beat-Tinnitus link at the top of the blog), has been using this for a month and generally sleeps like a baby.  For those of you with a baby, well, he sleeps like a baby on bourbon, okay?  (kidding, kidding, not endorsing the use of alcohol on children, nor do we imbibe it ourselves) 

3.  The speakers CAN be cranked up loud enough to be heard across the room, but most people certainly won't need it at that level.  Even at the relatively loud volume my very hard-of-hearing husband needs, they sound no louder than his hearing aid's maskers to me across the room, so for spouses and significant others, this should be a CLEAR improvement over, say, a radio or television playing at some godawful volume all night.  As a result of the pillow, my tinnitus has retreated back to its tolerable level, only really bothersome in a silent room.  I've never been able to sleep in a silent place anyway, so the slight hiss I hear when I'm not literally on top of him is just fine.  And remember, his tinnitus is catastrophic, so chances are most people with tinnitus won't need it this loud, and most of you non-sufferers won't hear the pillow at all.

4.  We've been using the pillow for I guess about a month now, and it's holding up just fine.  If anything starts showing wear, I'll let you know immediately, because I realize these things aren't exactly a small investment, given most people's financial situation, especially if (like us), you're on disability.

So, thus far, my overall rating is an A.  My husband and I have a couple of suggestions for the mini-pillow design and Hemi-Sonic (they do the CDs), but they're really minor.  If you're not sure which pillow or discs to get, the people at the companies are SUPER helpful and DO understand peoples' individual sleeping problems.  It's such a nice change from doctors, who simply want to drug you into a stupor (and add up the cost of all THAT medication, not to mention the physical damage they can do to you) and get you out of the office so they can keep that cattle-run moving.

Don't mean to sound preachy or like I'm doing a sales pitch, but I've just been THROUGH all the medications--trust me, ALL of them--and just a few hours' of snuggling with my husband and listening to his pillow has been better than any drug-induced sleep I've had in years.  Time to get back to it.

Good health to you and your families as always, and for once from me, a smile :) ,

InsomniAmy