Happy Halloween!

Normally, I LOVE Halloween, because it means I get to run around spraying fake blood everywhere and scaring the pants off of tweens.  I don't frighten little kids on purpose, because 1. It's too easy, and 2. It's mean! But once you hit eight or nine, you're fair game.  I particularly like "getting" kids who think they're too old/cool to be frightened, because guess what, kiddos:  You're not.

Sadly, I won't be doing that this year, because of financial constraints as well as the fact that we're preparing to move by the end of the year.  We're moving to a much smaller place up north that won't have room for our MANY props, both homemade and purchased, so we've sold and ditched just about everything by now.  I also didn't really have time to make new stuff, like tombstones, which are relatively easy but still take several days to get a decent amount ready, and that foam board has gotten really pricey.  Our old tombstones are ready for the bin.  They last a long time if you make them right!  I got about ten years' use out of those, with only minor touch-ups to the paint.  But anyway, we're more or less broke, so we'll be hiding at home eating popcorn and watching our extensive horror movie collection.  I hate disappointing the neighborhood (we ARE known as "the Halloween House," but that's just not an option this year.

I realize this post has nothing to do with insomnia or tinnitus, so I should probably get to those.  I got about an hour's sleep this morning, and that was it.  My husband, however, slept like a very snorey baby due to his Sleepsonic pillow and Hemi-Sync CD (I'm not sure which CD he used last night, but it sounded kind of like  gentle music and rain).  Though I am admittedly jealous of his special pillow and CDs, I am VERY glad he slept, because his tinnitus was driving him crazy yesterday with a new temporary tone.  He should have a new post up on his blog at some point today.  He wants me to edit it first.  

I can only tell you what I've learned about tinnitus and my own very mild case--he can tell you how it feels to have tinnitus (and the accompanying headaches) take away your life.  All I can tell you is that it is absolutely horrible to have the person you love more than life in such terrible pain and torture and there being NOTHING you can do about it.  Imagine it as a terminal cancer that NEVER ends (I am NOT being unfeeling here--I've nursed someone through terminal cancer, too).  The agony just goes on and on.  I was one of those teenagers who listened to music too loud, rested against the speakers at concerts, and laughed about how muffled my hearing was the next day.  I no longer find that kind of thing amusing.  My husband and I both had convertibles and listened to industrial music at a ridiculous volume to balance out the sound of the wind whipping by.  We did all these things without a second thought.  

Now, my husband and I are attempting to learn basic sign language, using DVDs we borrow from the library, because his hearing is starting to fade, overwhelmed by the roaring noise in his brain.  My mom has flash cards and is already way ahead of us, which shows what a loving, kind person she is.  She started learning about a year ago.  

I don't feel too exhausted right now, though with all the work I have ahead of me today, I realize I'll crash at some point, and I'm probably not in any condition to drive.  Good thing my HUSBAND slept, because we need, at the very least, cat food.

For some reason, we have become the Cat Club of the neighborhood.  TEN CATS were on our porch alone yesterday, and there were a bunch more in the yard.  We really cannot afford to feed all these guys, and I know if I called animal control, the cats and kittens would be dead in a week, but I don't know what to do!  I wish people would spay or neuter their pets, like I do.  There are inexpensive clinics available all the time, and if I had the money, that's exactly what I'd do with all these guys who show up starving on my porch, then adopt them out.  I joke about sports cars and castles as my "Lotto Dream," but animal rescue is where my heart is.

Well, I think that's enough about me for today.  Hope you enjoy Halloween (if you celebrate it), and if you're too old to trick-or-treat, get dressed up and scare someone (but not in a mean way)!  Please check Beat-Tinnitus later on today, as he will have a new post, and don't hesitate to contact either of us if you have questions about how we cope, the products we use, or hey, just who we are.

Wishing good health to you and your family,

InsomniAmy

Yes, I know it's about 3 a.m. my time...

...but I'm feeling pretty good.  I slept for hours, curled up against my husband, resting my head on his chest. He was using his pillow (Sleepsonic, if you haven't been paying attention, check the only banners I've got here) with a white-noise/pink-noise (I can't really tell the difference, but HE can) track playing over and over, and that combined with his steady heartbeat was exceptionally calming.  What am I, a puppy?  A fetus?

It doesn't matter; I SLEPT.  I still need more, and I'm going to go back there (if I can do it without waking him up) soon, but I wanted to share this wonderful moment with you.  This is the first time in days I've rested without nightmares, not awakened in a cold sweat, just...peaceful.  I know at least ONE of my regular readers knows what a maniac I am, and peaceful is not my normal state of being, but wow, I like it.

Please get here, my pillow.  I really need a lot more of this.  I honestly can't remember the last time I woke up at (I know, still not really an acceptable time of day) 3 a.m. and felt okay about everything.  All my problems and work I have ahead of me seems not only doable,  they sound positively simple.  I know when I finally put down this little electronic time thief and try to sleep again, I will.  I know I'll accomplish whatever I set out to do to(day)morrow.

Optimism.  From me.  Enjoy it while you see it, folks.  I know I do.

Since I DID mention the pillow, and I still owe some people who've written me privately some answers, here they are:  

1. it is super-easy to use.  You can plug it into a computer, CD player, MP3 player--anything with a mini-jack.  It's got an extender cord that makes it EASY.  

2.  My husband, at least (check the Beat-Tinnitus link at the top of the blog), has been using this for a month and generally sleeps like a baby.  For those of you with a baby, well, he sleeps like a baby on bourbon, okay?  (kidding, kidding, not endorsing the use of alcohol on children, nor do we imbibe it ourselves) 

3.  The speakers CAN be cranked up loud enough to be heard across the room, but most people certainly won't need it at that level.  Even at the relatively loud volume my very hard-of-hearing husband needs, they sound no louder than his hearing aid's maskers to me across the room, so for spouses and significant others, this should be a CLEAR improvement over, say, a radio or television playing at some godawful volume all night.  As a result of the pillow, my tinnitus has retreated back to its tolerable level, only really bothersome in a silent room.  I've never been able to sleep in a silent place anyway, so the slight hiss I hear when I'm not literally on top of him is just fine.  And remember, his tinnitus is catastrophic, so chances are most people with tinnitus won't need it this loud, and most of you non-sufferers won't hear the pillow at all.

4.  We've been using the pillow for I guess about a month now, and it's holding up just fine.  If anything starts showing wear, I'll let you know immediately, because I realize these things aren't exactly a small investment, given most people's financial situation, especially if (like us), you're on disability.

So, thus far, my overall rating is an A.  My husband and I have a couple of suggestions for the mini-pillow design and Hemi-Sonic (they do the CDs), but they're really minor.  If you're not sure which pillow or discs to get, the people at the companies are SUPER helpful and DO understand peoples' individual sleeping problems.  It's such a nice change from doctors, who simply want to drug you into a stupor (and add up the cost of all THAT medication, not to mention the physical damage they can do to you) and get you out of the office so they can keep that cattle-run moving.

Don't mean to sound preachy or like I'm doing a sales pitch, but I've just been THROUGH all the medications--trust me, ALL of them--and just a few hours' of snuggling with my husband and listening to his pillow has been better than any drug-induced sleep I've had in years.  Time to get back to it.

Good health to you and your families as always, and for once from me, a smile :) ,

InsomniAmy